Alaskan Summer

I don't usually whine or complain too much on my blog. At least I try to balance the negative with the positive, infusing a bit of humor to keep my faithful readers (all 5 of them) reading.
But I have had it with this weather! It's been foggy and rainy for 3 weeks! I have seen the sun for about 6 hours in the past week: 2 hours on Tuesday, 1 hour on Wednesday, 1 hour on Thursday, and 2 hours on Saturday. I'm sorry, but 6 hours a week is not enough to keep a girl from Vietnam/California going. Granted, the sun is shining on other parts of Alaska, like Fairbanks. But half the time they have so many forest fires that they can't even go outside on account of the smoke! And besides, it hardly makes up for their winters of up to -50 below.

On a more positive note, we went pick blueberries on Saturday at our friends Lyn and Darwyn's house on Saturday. I have lived here for 11 years and have never been invited to pick blueberries before. When Matt was a kid, you could go out and pick blueberries just about anywhere. Now so much of the land is developed or private property that blueberries have become a carefully guarded commodity. People who know where to get blueberries are very vague about their secret blueberry patches. If you ask them where they pick, you get answers like "across the bay" or "Diamond Ridge".

My mom and I picked about 14 cups of blueberries and our friends gave us about 4 more cups. Alaskan blueberries are smaller and more tart than Oregon and other blueberries in the lower 48. But I hear they are the highest in antioxidants. I hope they contain some kind of natural antidepressant because I am going to need it to get through this winter.

Next week I am taking Maya to California for my brother's wedding. Matt and the boys are going to Pendleton, OR to visit Matt's dad. Maya has been asking me several times per day if we can go to California yet. I keep telling her, No, not yet. She has her suitcase packed already. So do the boys. It shouldn't take me long to pack either. I'll just dump my bin of "summer clothes" into a suitcase. I have long since realized that summer clothes in Homer means 3/4 length sleeves and capri pants. I think I have worn shorts and a tank top twice this summer, and it was probably in the house. Even on a sunny day I have to pull weeds in a long sleeve Tshirt and jeans so the mosquitoes, flies and noseums don't eat me up. Noseums are bugs that leave bites like mosquito bites only smaller and twice as itchy, and they last up to 3 weeks instead of 3 days!

While I was picking blueberries, Riley and Chris were riding around on 4-wheelers. It's a special treat for them because we don't own any 4-wheelers and wouldn't have anywhere to ride them on our property even if we did. For years now the boys have been begging us for 4-wheelers and snow machines (snowmobiles in America). Now they are begging for guns. Most men in Alaska hunt and fish. That's why they live here. So the boys want to be like all their friends. Unfortunately, they got us for parents. Matt has been way too busy in the past 10 years with all his responsibilities as a family physician, husband, father, son, and brother to even think about going hunting. He hardly gets to go fishing.

I am morally and philosophically opposed to guns. Living in Alaska I realize that many families subsist on fish and wild game since food is so expensive here. So if Matt wants to take the boys hunting some day, that's okay with me. But I don't want to buy them toy guns. Instead I buy them swords and bows and arrows. Matt does not see the difference. To me, swords, bows and arrows are more noble than guns. You have to look your opponent in the eye and you stand equal chance of being killed. Swords, bows and arrows hark back to more chivalrous times; knights in shining armor. They lend themselves to the imagination, battling dragons and other mythical beasts. On the other hand, guns can kill so many living beings from a distance. Guns even kill loved ones up close, on accident. Children who play with guns sometimes cannot tell the difference between a real and a toy gun. That's why even many NRA card carrying hunters are opposed to toy guns. For me, guns symbolized so much death and suffering, I don't want to have toy replicas around my house.

Why am I blogging about this? Because I spend so much of my time explaining to the boys why I won't buy them toy guns on a daily basis. When they are not begging for 4-wheelers and snow machines, they are begging for air soft guns. Air soft guns are the latest craze among boys from 5 to 15. They come in every model from a little Colt .22 to an AK47. They shoot tiny soft plastic balls that can still hurt at close range. Responsible parents make their kids where helmets and goggles while shooting each other.

I know I would be dealing with this anywhere I lived, but I happen to live in one of the biggest hunting, gun slinging states in the Union. Many of their friends already have a real gun or rifle! Sometimes I just want to move away from all of this. But occasionally I am tempted to surrender myself to the inevitable. Move us to the outskirts of town on a piece of property where they can ride motor vehicles all day long (Of course they would have to work and save and buy their own motorized toys!) Everyone we know who lives along Old Sterling Highway has their own lake. I can't believe I'm willing to buy swamp land. But a lake means they can play hockey all day long in the winter time and paddle around on kayaks in the summer time, catch frogs, and I can pick berries!

I also have this fantasy of building a smaller, "greener" house. Use solar panels and windmills for energy. Raising my own fruits and vegetables in a big green house, harvesting fish from the sea and let the boys bring home an occasional moose. There are many, many people in Alaska still living this subsistence lifestyle. One of my friends has chickens, turkeys and goats! Another one has alpacas! And still another one makes her own cheese!

So that's where I'm at. Do I move back to civilization or farther away from town? Do I want to exchange dirt roads and gravel driveways for paved roads and sidewalks? Am I willing to trade in moose, porcupines, pheasants and bears in my yard for affordable groceries and Ethnic diversity? No matter where we live, there will be good things and bad things. But it sure is tempting to move somewhere with more sunshine!

Here's the view from deck every morning the past 3 weeks.

The fog just keeps rolling in, clearing for maybe an hour here and there.

Here's a picture to cheer you up. Maya and Sarah's dog, Lilly

All Stars Baseball Camp

Two weeks ago I went with Riley up to Anchorage for All Stars Baseball. Little League gave us a group camp site in Centennial Park. Although we were on the edge of town, only one road away from Glenn Highway, we still saw a fox early in the mornings. He did not seem afraid of us at all, so I think he's a regular. One of my friends said they put radar collars on some brown (Grizzly) bears to track their movement and they are all over Anchorage! Yikes! I am so glad they did not visit our camp.

The kids had a great time camping. The big boys played whiffle ball about 12 hours per day, when they weren't playing baseball at the Little League tournament. There were 4-5 families that stayed at the campsite and the rest stayed with friends in town. We shared meals, taking turns cooking and cleaning up. The campsite had showers, flush toilets and hot water! That is my kind of camping. I have an aversion to outhouses and port-a-potties. Enough potty talk.

There were plenty of siblings there for Chris and Maya to play with. Chris was in heaven, knocking down dead trees, dragging them back to camp and cutting them up for firewood. All the kids played with Maya, from the 7 year olds up to the 15 year olds. They took her to the playground at the campground and let her hang out in their motor home, trailes or tents. It was most helpful having them to play with during the games so I could watch Riley play.

Although I brought lots of snacks to the ball games, Maya was begging me for money to buy candy from the snack shack. I told her no and she begged some more. I told her to get a job. Next thing I know she comes back with a quarter and a penny! I asked her where she got the money. She found it under the snack shack which was up on a platform! So she bought herself a Tootsie Pop. A little while later, she found more money and bought herself an Airhead. Can you believe that girl? I don't think she will ever cease to amaze us with her tenacity and resourcefulness.


The starting line up, Riley is the short one in the middle. He is also the youngest.


Exchanging pins with a member of the opposing team, an act of friendship and good will.

Playing whiffle ball 12 hours per day.

The boys brought these dead birch trees from the woods to our camp.

Chris sawing logs. One mom clocked him cutting one section per minute!

Stacking firewood.

Maya got a grass cut on her chin, one of the few times she was sad all week.

Memorial Day Weekend, 2010

This year we went to a friend's cabin across the bay for Memorial Day Weekend. It was a great getaway for us as a family. My favorite part was that we were "unplugged" for 48 hours. Matt and I turned off our cell phones except to check for messages once a day. (I think Matt cheated and checked baseball scores one other time.) Without a TV or computer, the boys played games and doodled. Riley learned to play Cribbage and Chris learned to play Boggle. They also finished a Scrabble game with us for the first time ever.


It was very interesting to see how the boys responded to being away from civilization. When Karl dropped us off at the cabin and pulled away, the boys got a little anxious. Riley was most worried about running out of water. Chris expressed generalized anxiety for the first time in his life. We were making S'mores around a fire the first night when he said "I have a worried kind of feeling." After asking some questions, I figured out he was worried about us being all alone with no other people around. He seemed to feel better after I reassured him that Karl and other friends who lived in Halibut Cove were only a phone call and a short boat ride away.


We hiked, dug for mussels, played on the beach and looked for bear tracks. Early Sunday morning Matt saw a porcupine on the deck and captured it on film so the rest of us could see the video later. On Monday morning we were blessed with a bear sighting. We watched from the deck of the cabin as he made his way across the beach and up into the woods. The rest of the day the boys made rafts out of reeds and floated them down a little stream. Maya was a little trooper as usual, going along with the adventure. Since she didn't understand what going across the bay to a cabin meant, I had told her we were going camping. So when we arrived at the cabin she took one look around and said "This isn't camping!" She had a super cute name for the cabin and now I can't remember what it was. That's what happens when you blog a month late.

" Timbers" is the name of the cabin.

Our first dinner at the cabin.

Making S'mores

Maya loves marshmallows.

Chris and Mom

The porcupine

Making rafts

Playing in the bear's sand box

Bear prints

And here it is!

Chris' 8th Birthday

Chris' birthday was on May 20th. Grandma and Nanna came over for a family party that night and we gave him our gifts. Two days later we brought two of his friends with us to Nikiski Pool and water slide. Then we we went to Cold Stone for ice cream. Below are the photos of Chris hamming it up in all of his glory.


As you can see, he is quite a little goofball. He is very loud. He is also very funny. He has a quick wit like Matt. He also got Matt's math abilities. Some kids just "get" math, while others have to work at it. Both my boys "got" math at a very early age. They would know the answer to problems before they could explain how they knew it. He loves science. He likes to get on the internet and look at bugs. He also googles things like: the strongest man in the world, the biggest dog, the biggest snake, etc.


Chris' interests are very eclectic. When he was younger, Matt was worried that he had not found a "niche". In fact, he had too many interests to narrow it down to one or two. Riley was obsessed with balls and sports from the age of 9 months on. Chris was not ready for organized sports until a couple of years ago. I think part of it was that he was frustrated that he couldn't do things as well as his big brother. He seems to forget that he is 3 years younger than Riley. In his mind, they are only 12 to 18 months apart. Although he is following in his brother's footsteps, playing hockey and baseball, he does it his own way. He has an advantage over kids his own age because he has been trained at the school of hard knocks: keeping up with Riley and Bradley. They don't cut him any breaks. They usually put themselves on the same team opposite Chris.


Chris is the hardest working little kid I've ever met. He will usually help out with whatever we are doing whether we are digging post holes or planting a garden. His favorite jobs are cutting down trees and making burn piles. He helps Nanna with jobs around the house. He helped Uncle Michael pull a refrigerator up a flight of stairs and put together two wardrobes. He has a hole on Nanna's property that he has been working on since last summer. He told me this morning that he wanted to work on his hole. I asked him what the hole was for. He said "I don't know, I just want to dig a giant hole."


Chris loves dogs. The first thing he does every morning is come upstairs and lay down down on the floor between the dogs. Either he's petting one with each hand, or one with his hands and the other with his feet. Sometimes he curls up on the floor next to our bed and falls back to sleep on top of the dog bed.


The greatest thing about Chris is his compassion for others. It's hard to see is sometimes because he acts so tough and macho. Underneath all that false bravado, he is a big marshmallow. When we first brought Maya home, he was very kind to her. One time she was crying and we couldn't figure out why. I think someone accused her of crying for no reason. Chris said "Nobody knows how Maya feels. Only Maya knows what's like to be Maya." He recently told me he feels sorry for Maya because she is always getting hurt.


The first PG-13 movie I let the boys see was Avatar. When the Home Tree was being bombed and all the Navi were running for their lives he said to me "This is really sad!" The older boys were more focused on the guns and the bad words. After the movie they kept saying "We're mated for life" and giggling. I told them only Chris got the point of the movie. Riley got it, too but didn't express it in front of his friends.


Sometimes we forget he only a little boy. When Riley was little, he watched Pinocchio and Dumbo. But by the time Chris came along, all he saw was Air Bud and The Sandlot. When Riley spends the night at a friend's house, it's nice to spoil Chris and treat him like a little boy.


Opening presents

A dragon from Maya

A ball and bat from Riley

At Nikiski Pool with Cole and Ethan

Ice cream at Cold Stone

See you later, Bill and Ly

A few weeks ago we went to visit Bill and Ly. They are moving to Texas. Bill has serious health problems and wanted to be somewhere warm and sunny more than 3 days per year. Ly will come back to Homer every few months until their house sells. We hated to see them go but hope that Bill will feel better there. They were our main link to Vietnam. We had hoped that Maya could grow up hearing the Vietnamese language in person, not just on CDs. I guess we are going to have to go to Texas or Vietnam more often. Ly gave Maya a box of toys and Bill gave her a transistor radio. The same radio she used to play with when she first came to Alaska. It is a very special gift. See you later Bill and Ly; Never Goodbye.

Yi Ly and Maya

Maya holding Bill's transistor radio

Mother's Day, 2010

For Mother's Day this year I got to sleep in. Then Maya brought me a pretend cup of tea. Then the boys gave me their presents. Riley gave me project he made in school. It was a copy of Time Magazine, with me on the cover! He had drawn a picture of me and the cover of Time. Inside there was an article about me. He said the most important thing he learned from me was "Never give up unless what you are doing gets boring." Not exactly what I said but close enough. The funniest part was my world record. He said I hold the world record for longest time spent shopping at Costco: 4 hours. I beat the previous record of 3 hours 30 minutes.


Chris gave me book of coupons that I can redeem if I want an easy morning, help at meal time, or a peaceful bedtime. They were pages he had cut out of a Scholastic News for kids. Each page had lines for them to write their own ideas for that topic. In addition to helping prepare the meal, set the table and clean up, he wrote: "And I will not eat all the food so you can have some."
After church we went to the beach for our first beach cookout of the summer. We brought hot dogs, chips, snap peas, grapes, and of course: graham crackers, marshmallows and chocolate for S'mores. Sarah, Grandma and Nanna joined us for a nice sunny day on the beach.


A few days later Matt and I went to Anchorage with Sarah to consult a specialist. Sarah's tumor was 99% "borderline cancer" and 1% epithelial carcinoma. Borderline cancers are not usually invasive and surgical excision is the cure. Epithelial carcinoma is invasive and we needed to know what to do about it. Dr. Higdon did not think she needed to go in for more biopsies. She just wants to monitor Sarah closely with tumor markers (blood tests) and ultrasound every 4 months for 2-3 years. We are relieved that she does not need anymore surgery so she can get back to normal life.

After the doctor appointment Matt and I went to Costco. I was so proud of myself for remembering to bring the flier with the new coupons. Matt needed new tires for his truck. There was a coupon for $75 off new tires. We set the coupon down in front of the sales girl and she said "Those coupons are not effective until tomorrow." Sure enough, the date said May 13 and it was only May 12. We tried to reason with her: "But we are from Homer and we can't come back tomorrow." No good. Then I tried to threaten her: "Fine, I'll send my daughter back tomorrow with my Costco card." She assured me that they do look at the photo on the Costco card every time to make sure the person matches the card. Finally, I pulled out my last weapon: "But I hold the record for the longest time spent shopping at Costco! I'm on the cover of Time Magazine!" She still did not budge. So I had to prove it to her, by presenting over $100 worth of dividend checks, both from shopping at Costco AND from using our Costco American Express Card. Guess I showed her!

Bradley, Riley and Chris

Maya at the beach

This is one of those days that makes us put up with Alaska the other 300 days per year.

Cinco de Maya

On May 5th we celebrated our second anniversary with Maya. She doesn't really understand the significance of this yet. To her, it's like another birthday. In the afternoon we went to a birthday party of a friend. Then we had a special dinner for Maya. My mom made her a pink cake with 2 candles that she got to blow out. At bedtime instead of the usual books we looked at a photo album of our trip to Vietnam together. She loves seeing the pictures of herself. She has not started to ask any hard questions yet. I'm sure those days will come.

After 2 years together, we are much better adjusted. Looking back I realize that it took us almost two years to get used to each other. The first year was really hard. The boys had to adjust to sharing their parents, grandparents and their home with another little person. I had to learn how to manage 3 children (now 4 at home). Maya had to learn how to eat and talk. She is now potty trained (during the day), goes to preschool, plays with lots of friends and speaks in full sentences (most of the time). She still loves books, music and electronics. She is still very feisty, sassy, willful and headstrong. She is also very curious, smart, sweet and affectionate.

She asks endless questions. It can be very exasperating. I have to remind myself that she is learning and wants to know everything about the world around her. Sometimes she asks questions she already knows the answer to just to talk, or keep us engaged. Sometimes I don't know what she is really asking me. For example: I showed her a feather that I found. She asked me "Why it feather?". What does that mean? So I asked her, "What do you mean? Why did I pick it up? Why did the bird lose a feather? Why do birds have feathers instead of fur?". Then I say, "Birds have feathers so they can fly and stay warm." She seemed satisfied and says "Oh." Sometimes when I don't get the answer right and she cannot reform the question, she says "Never mind!". I guess she gets exasperated with me as well.

She loves all animals except for flies. She is still terrified of flies. She likes baby worms but not big worms. She prefers playing with dinosaurs to playing with dolls. She loves to swim, especially in the hot tub. She still loves to be in tiny spaces, like boxes and closets. She loves tools of all kinds. She loves to jump on trampolines. She loves water slides. She would probably love roller coasters if we had one. She is not afraid of anything, except flies. She cannot take our word for anything. She has to experience it for herself. That scares me when I think about her as an adolescent. I think my biggest challenge will be finding ways to channel her energy in creative and positive ways, so that she doesn't have to rebel. As her preschool teacher said last week: "I try to avoid power struggles with Maya, because I know who will win."

Love the boots Grandma! Love the dress Nanna!

Maya attends a birthday party on May 5th, done completely in Cinco de Mayo theme